One of the most important things we learn in recovery is to listen to others.  When we stop listening to others and only listen to ourselves, we in essence have taken back our self will.

When we get clean and sober, we try to surrender our will and we begin to take advice from others, whether it is a counselor in a treatment program, an old-timer at a twelve step group, our sponsor, or anyone else who may have the knowledge we need.  Surrendering can feel very wrong, like a negative, but to maintain our sobriety, it is what we must do.  Our own thinking is likely part of what got us into our addiction to begin with or at least kept us there, so we need to give up and surrender our self-will.

By listening to others in recovery, it is possible to benefit from their experience.  Other people can be “fountains of knowledge” and can inspire us to work at our recovery, perhaps change our future plans, or open us up to opportunities that we might have missed.

Sometimes, listening to another person can help them with a problem they may be experiencing – while we may not be able to help him or her physically, listening attentively to them may be what they need.

We have to keep in mind that what we sometimes need to hear is not necessarily what we want to hear and we must learn to focus on the “need” and not the “want”.  This is one lesson I personally have had to learn and work on constantly, because I know to do otherwise is fatal to my recovery.

Paying attention to others and focusing on what they have to say can be rewarding, for both yourself and for them.

 

SC

03Oct 2017

THE START The very start of recovery is Socialization at 12 step meetings. The first part of that is finding a HOME group. In effect finding a section of people that will accept you, warts and all. That is they shake your hand and introduce themselves, I hated that part when they asked if I […]

12Jul 2017

Lead by an experienced Addictions Counsellor, the groups include such discussion topics as: Understanding Relapse (how it happens and how to avoid it) Personality of an Addicted (tolerance, anxiety, grandiosity) Relapse Warning Signs (attitude & behavior changes, H.A.L.T.) Setting Goals for Relapse Prevention The sessions are held every Thursday afternoon at 2:30 p.m. in our […]

12May 2017

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not […]

12May 2017

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the […]

30Aug 2016
thoughts on gratitude after addiction recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support.  I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive. One day this past week, I sat down and […]

04Jul 2016
Finding Happiness

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me. For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness. Once I got sober, I had to […]

27Jun 2016
work hard and stay humble after recovering from addiction

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory.  We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way. Some of us can even let our ego make us […]

22Jun 2016
recovery takes time

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”.  This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life. I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could […]

10Jun 2016
now vs then after addiction recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago.  The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression.  Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer.  During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety.  I have […]