All my life, I have suffered from a need to appear perfect in other people’s eyes.  I thought I had to do everything right in order to be accepted and when something did not go the way I wanted it to, I would get frustrated and angry.   I knew I had to learn to control this frustration because if I let it build up, I would become angry.  Anger would take away my motivation to accomplish something and I would simply give up.

I have learned that the cause of frustration can be something I have no control over and that everyone experiences frustration many times in their lives.  The difference is how we each react to it.      I know that if I give in to it, I become irritable and annoyed.  I make bad decisions based on my emotions in that moment.  But if I react in a more positive way, I can find a way to overcome the problem.

Now, when I start to feel frustrated over a situation, I know that my perception is probably getting in the way of reality.  I have found it very effective to talk to someone who can view the situation objectively and may have a perspective on it that I am not seeing.  I have also learned to accept the reality that not everything is perfect, including myself.  Sometimes, life will throw curves and I have to accept that some things are simply out of my control.

If there is no-one I can talk to at that moment, I take a walk – I find it very effective and it usually prevents me from acting immediately on my emotions and making that rash decision.  I also have learned not to blame myself for things that happen – it is better to use that mental energy to try to find a solution.  I focus on what I am grateful for, not what is wrong in my life.

We all have goals and we are all going to encounter frustrations along the way but what is important is that we deal with them in a positive and productive way.

 

SC

03Oct 2017

THE START The very start of recovery is Socialization at 12 step meetings. The first part of that is finding a HOME group. In effect finding a section of people that will accept you, warts and all. That is they shake your hand and introduce themselves, I hated that part when they asked if I […]

12Jul 2017

Lead by an experienced Addictions Counsellor, the groups include such discussion topics as: Understanding Relapse (how it happens and how to avoid it) Personality of an Addicted (tolerance, anxiety, grandiosity) Relapse Warning Signs (attitude & behavior changes, H.A.L.T.) Setting Goals for Relapse Prevention The sessions are held every Thursday afternoon at 2:30 p.m. in our […]

12May 2017

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not […]

12May 2017

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the […]

30Aug 2016
thoughts on gratitude after addiction recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support.  I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive. One day this past week, I sat down and […]

04Jul 2016
Finding Happiness

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me. For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness. Once I got sober, I had to […]

27Jun 2016
work hard and stay humble after recovering from addiction

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory.  We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way. Some of us can even let our ego make us […]

22Jun 2016
recovery takes time

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”.  This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life. I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could […]

10Jun 2016
now vs then after addiction recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago.  The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression.  Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer.  During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety.  I have […]