We often use anger as a way of getting what we want – it is sometimes much easier to be angry than to stay calm and make our needs known.

I have read many times that “venting” is supposed to be healthy, but in reality, it is only a temporary fix.  I have found that reacting in anger only made my feelings of frustration worse.  I knew that coming into recovery meant I had to learn to cope with anger – it was vital to my continuing sobriety.

First, I needed to find the causes of my anger – what people, places and things made me angry and why.  Was my anger justified?  Was the level of anger I felt reasonable, given the situation as I saw it?

I learned that when I start to feel angry (the telltale signs for me are buzzing in my head and burning in my ears), I have to find ways to avoid an angry outburst that only ends up making the situation worse.

Very often, our anger is misplaced – it can simply be a result of miscommunication with others, our own negative perception of a situation or our unrealistic expectations of other people in our lives.

When we feel frustrated, our emotions can and will take over – that’s part of being human.  But if we give in to it, or use it to manipulate or hurt others, we will likely hurt ourselves more, either physically, emotionally or socially.  The anger I carried a lot of the time resulted in alienating friends, family and co-workers.  It became an excuse for relapse.

I have learned how to cope with anger in more healthy ways, before it gets the better of me.  I may take a long walk, talk to someone who can be objective, or simply count to ten in my head before I say or do anything.  These coping skills have helped me deal with anger and its negative results – and maintain my serenity.


03Oct 2017

THE START The very start of recovery is Socialization at 12 step meetings. The first part of that is finding a HOME group. In effect finding a section of people that will accept you, warts and all. That is they shake your hand and introduce themselves, I hated that part when they asked if I […]

12Jul 2017

Lead by an experienced Addictions Counsellor, the groups include such discussion topics as: Understanding Relapse (how it happens and how to avoid it) Personality of an Addicted (tolerance, anxiety, grandiosity) Relapse Warning Signs (attitude & behavior changes, H.A.L.T.) Setting Goals for Relapse Prevention The sessions are held every Thursday afternoon at 2:30 p.m. in our […]

12May 2017

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not […]

12May 2017

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the […]

30Aug 2016
thoughts on gratitude after addiction recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support.  I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive. One day this past week, I sat down and […]

04Jul 2016
Finding Happiness

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me. For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness. Once I got sober, I had to […]

27Jun 2016
work hard and stay humble after recovering from addiction

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory.  We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way. Some of us can even let our ego make us […]

22Jun 2016
recovery takes time

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”.  This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life. I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could […]

10Jun 2016
now vs then after addiction recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago.  The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression.  Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer.  During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety.  I have […]