Everyone has heard this expression – not just those of us in recovery but others as well.  From my own experience, it is very easy to say but much harder to practice.

Many of us often blame our problems (including our addiction) on other people.  In my case, it was easier to avoid people and drink alone, rather than letting on how often and how much I drank.  When I was confronted about my addiction, I could give what I thought were really good reasons for it – usually involving someone else’s behavior.

I always thought that I was a much happier person when I drank and got along better with people if I had a few drinks.  In actual fact, I found myself getting argumentative with others because the alcohol gave me the “courage” to tell them what I really thought.  I wanted people (especially family) to mind their own business, and I never considered their feelings or needs.

I have learned that it was actually guilt over my own addiction that made me hold grudges against those I did not agree with.  Now I know that there are going to be people who do things in their lives that I don’t like.   But I have to learn to live with the differences – it is essential to my peace of mind and my recovery.  I am learning to tolerate or ignore what others say or do (unless of course it is constructive to me) – it’s just not worth getting angry and possibly relapsing.

“Live and let live” has become a mantra for me – I try to understand other people and respect their right to act the way they want.  This is actually becoming easier with time – I am happy in my own life, and that makes it easier to let others do and be the same.

SC

03Oct 2017

THE START The very start of recovery is Socialization at 12 step meetings. The first part of that is finding a HOME group. In effect finding a section of people that will accept you, warts and all. That is they shake your hand and introduce themselves, I hated that part when they asked if I […]

12Jul 2017

Lead by an experienced Addictions Counsellor, the groups include such discussion topics as: Understanding Relapse (how it happens and how to avoid it) Personality of an Addicted (tolerance, anxiety, grandiosity) Relapse Warning Signs (attitude & behavior changes, H.A.L.T.) Setting Goals for Relapse Prevention The sessions are held every Thursday afternoon at 2:30 p.m. in our […]

12May 2017

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not […]

12May 2017

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the […]

30Aug 2016
thoughts on gratitude after addiction recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support.  I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive. One day this past week, I sat down and […]

04Jul 2016
Finding Happiness

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me. For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness. Once I got sober, I had to […]

27Jun 2016
work hard and stay humble after recovering from addiction

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory.  We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way. Some of us can even let our ego make us […]

22Jun 2016
recovery takes time

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”.  This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life. I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could […]

10Jun 2016
now vs then after addiction recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago.  The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression.  Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer.  During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety.  I have […]