Resentments about the past can make it hard to be happy in life.  To hold a grudge against someone is detrimental and when we come into recovery, we need to forgive a perceived wrong-doing against us and stop feeling the resentment.

Some addicts and alcoholics can be full of resentments, often blaming others for their own bad behavior – it is easier to blame someone else and continue their unhealthy lifestyle.  Resentments can build up for different reasons – failure of other people to live up to expectations, others have tried to tell them what to do or have let them down.  Resentments give us an excuse for our lack of motivation to get clean and sober and/or stay in recovery.

Forgiving someone is not condoning, excusing, pardoning or forgetting what has happened in the past, but if we let go and forgive the transgressions, we will harbor less negative emotions and certainly less anger.  Also, asking for forgiveness from someone is not for them but for us.  We need to do this to clean up the past and taking our part in things.

The first step in forgiving others for perceived wrongdoings is to forgive ourselves.  This is probably the most difficult step in recovery for many reasons but guilt about the past benefits no-one – it is healthier to be remorseful.  A big key to recovery is to focus on what can be learned from our past mistakes rather than continuing to feel bad about them.  It is difficult to think positive about ourselves when we feel shame and guilt about the past.  Forgiving ourselves for bad behavior when we were drinking or using is difficult because often it wasn’t the real “us”.

Asking for forgiveness and forgiving ourselves empowers us, giving us the ability to step through fear of the past and into a more serene future.

03Oct 2017

THE START The very start of recovery is Socialization at 12 step meetings. The first part of that is finding a HOME group. In effect finding a section of people that will accept you, warts and all. That is they shake your hand and introduce themselves, I hated that part when they asked if I […]

12Jul 2017

Lead by an experienced Addictions Counsellor, the groups include such discussion topics as: Understanding Relapse (how it happens and how to avoid it) Personality of an Addicted (tolerance, anxiety, grandiosity) Relapse Warning Signs (attitude & behavior changes, H.A.L.T.) Setting Goals for Relapse Prevention The sessions are held every Thursday afternoon at 2:30 p.m. in our […]

12May 2017

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not […]

12May 2017

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the […]

30Aug 2016
thoughts on gratitude after addiction recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support.  I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive. One day this past week, I sat down and […]

04Jul 2016
Finding Happiness

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me. For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness. Once I got sober, I had to […]

27Jun 2016
work hard and stay humble after recovering from addiction

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory.  We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way. Some of us can even let our ego make us […]

22Jun 2016
recovery takes time

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”.  This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life. I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could […]

10Jun 2016
now vs then after addiction recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago.  The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression.  Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer.  During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety.  I have […]