We have all had to deal with at least one “negative” person in our lives.  The constantly negative person can be one of the biggest threats to our own recovery.

I personally know a few people who are very pessimistic and cynical and they can drain our serenity and sense of well-being very quickly if we allow them to have that power over us.

It is particularly difficult if the negative person happens to be a close family member or friend.  Negative people tend to think the worst about almost everything, and they either distrust or blame others for every bad thing that happens to them.  These individuals can easily make situations they talk about seem much more dire than they really are – making mountains out of molehills as the saying goes.  Their thinking is skewed – “black and white”, great or horrible (usually mostly horrible).

From my own experience I find people who look at life like this are emotionally draining, but when I was drinking, I could easily feed into it – I would find myself getting as depressed or angry as them, which was a great excuse to have another drink.

Now, in recovery, I realize the danger involved in allowing these type of people into my head.  Bolstered with what I have learned through the 12-step program, I know that the world is not all good or all bad, so I am able to separate myself mentally if not physically from their negativity, and I don’t join in.  I try to be compassionate and understanding – their view of the world comes from their own unhappiness and certainly can’t be taken as fact.

While it is not always possible to stay away from negative people, we can deal with them without threatening our own sobriety and serenity.


03Oct 2017

THE START The very start of recovery is Socialization at 12 step meetings. The first part of that is finding a HOME group. In effect finding a section of people that will accept you, warts and all. That is they shake your hand and introduce themselves, I hated that part when they asked if I […]

12Jul 2017

Lead by an experienced Addictions Counsellor, the groups include such discussion topics as: Understanding Relapse (how it happens and how to avoid it) Personality of an Addicted (tolerance, anxiety, grandiosity) Relapse Warning Signs (attitude & behavior changes, H.A.L.T.) Setting Goals for Relapse Prevention The sessions are held every Thursday afternoon at 2:30 p.m. in our […]

12May 2017

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not […]

12May 2017

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the […]

30Aug 2016
thoughts on gratitude after addiction recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support.  I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive. One day this past week, I sat down and […]

04Jul 2016
Finding Happiness

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me. For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness. Once I got sober, I had to […]

27Jun 2016
work hard and stay humble after recovering from addiction

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory.  We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way. Some of us can even let our ego make us […]

22Jun 2016
recovery takes time

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”.  This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life. I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could […]

10Jun 2016
now vs then after addiction recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago.  The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression.  Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer.  During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety.  I have […]