I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not 100% wrong on that opinion it was a very closed view of life and it really showed me how I thought about myself. I didn’t think I was worth standing up for, even for myself. I didn’t think others cared about my opinion or my needs. By thinking that I was a mind reader I didn’t stand up for myself. I have walked away from a lot of money and put myself through unnecessary stress for no reason.

I have made it one of my commitments to myself to face conflicts and be true to myself and get what I deserve out of life. No more settling for the crumbs of life. This doesn’t mean I will become an aggressive person or vindictive. I am currently dealing with a situation where a friend owes me $270 and instead of just writing it off as a loss like I normally would have done, I am working with this person to resolve the situation in a mutually beneficial solution. I am only asking for a weekly payment to get what is mine. I am not going to get where I want to be in life by being a rug. I am learning and realizing that I am worthy of getting the things I deserve and I am not less than anyone. We are all equal and unique. Conflicts in life will arise, and when they do I will face then properly and at the end of the day all will be fair.

Jason

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12May 2017

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not […]

12May 2017

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the […]

30Aug 2016
thoughts on gratitude after addiction recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support.  I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive. One day this past week, I sat down and […]

04Jul 2016
Finding Happiness

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me. For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness. Once I got sober, I had to […]

27Jun 2016
work hard and stay humble after recovering from addiction

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory.  We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way. Some of us can even let our ego make us […]

22Jun 2016
recovery takes time

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”.  This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life. I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could […]

10Jun 2016
now vs then after addiction recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago.  The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression.  Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer.  During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety.  I have […]

09Jun 2016
Man standing alone on the end of a jetty, looking over a foggy lake.

A lot of people in recovery have an unhealthy habit of isolating – I know I did.  We do this for many reasons.  We may feel shame or guilt for our behaviours when we were drinking or using, we may fear being around people, places and things that could trigger our addiction, or we may […]

02May 2016

Relapse is more than just using alcohol or drugs. It is the progressive process of becoming so dysfunctional in recovery that self-medication with alcohol or drugs seems like a reasonable choice. The relapse process is a lot like going a little insane. The first thoughts that were not ok yesterday are ok today.  I tell […]