Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the approval of others. But making commitments to myself? Well I could do what I needed to do for myself tomorrow, unfortunately tomorrow never came. I found that keeping commitments usually depended on what I would get out of them or who it was effecting. It would be easy to leave a good friend or a family member stranded to go and play cool guy with my drug dealing buddies. I knew that I would always have my family and I could apologize to them when then I needed something.
Commitments are for myself a very confusing thing. I often over complicate my life by taking on commitments that are unrealistic or make an easy project feel like a university science fair project. Lately though I have made a continued commitment to myself to stop doing this. I am trying to live by the four agreements; be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. If I can keep using these agreements in my everyday life I believe that I will have a happier more fulfilling life.
Now that I am enjoying early recovery I have to make it a priority to focus on my recovery over anything else. Work, school, family, girls, money. EVERTHING! If I cannot keep my sobriety now than I will lose all those things anyways. I have to make it a commitment to call my sponsor everyday, say my prayers, and go to meetings. I don’t know much about living sober in my adult life, so it is my commitment to people who are doing well in recovery and follow their actions.